July 29 2020
Over the years,
we've seen all kinds of criminal complaints drawn up by
Badges of all flavors. Some of the complaints take
several pages for all the details. Others are so poorly
written (grammar for instance) they are hard to
interpret. Those complaints come in different
colors, felony or misdemeanor.
Often instead of providing the exact words or lengthy details, we paraphrase or otherwise edit for clarity.
We've got one today that is a head scratcher.
Thomas Eugene Simmons (DOB 7-21-1982) makes the list as Felony charge 53 in County Clay. The 5'6" 240 pounder has the dubious distinction of having the shortest criminal complaint we've ever seen.
As written by Black Shirt Tyler Caruthers, here it is in its entirety:
On July 27th Thomas Eugene Simmons enter an out building without breaking and while uninvited, did carry from the out building, a plastic bucket.
That's it.
The penalty for such a horrendous transgression is up to 15 years in the slammer.
A felony charge for carrying away a $2 plastic bucket? Hmmmmmmmmmm
He's on our dime ($48.25 per day in CRJ).
AW
Often instead of providing the exact words or lengthy details, we paraphrase or otherwise edit for clarity.
We've got one today that is a head scratcher.
Thomas Eugene Simmons (DOB 7-21-1982) makes the list as Felony charge 53 in County Clay. The 5'6" 240 pounder has the dubious distinction of having the shortest criminal complaint we've ever seen.
As written by Black Shirt Tyler Caruthers, here it is in its entirety:
On July 27th Thomas Eugene Simmons enter an out building without breaking and while uninvited, did carry from the out building, a plastic bucket.
That's it.
The penalty for such a horrendous transgression is up to 15 years in the slammer.
A felony charge for carrying away a $2 plastic bucket? Hmmmmmmmmmm
He's on our dime ($48.25 per day in CRJ).
AW